Ron Swanson Quotes: Wisdom, Wit, and Whiskey - 50+ Memorable Lines from the One and Only Ron Swanson

11. "There's more than one crib tree in a forest. That's not a lesson, by the way, just a comment on lumber availability."

12. "When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them."

13. "There is only one bad word: taxes."

14. "Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets."

15. "Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon."

16. "Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars."

17. "Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor."

18. "Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga, except I still get to kill something."

19. "Turkey can never beat cow."

20. "Honor: if you need it defined, you don't have it."

21. "When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them."

22. "I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes."

23. "I like Tom. He doesn’t do a lot of work around here. He shows zero initiative. He’s not a team player. He’s never wanted to go that extra mile. Tom is exactly what I’m looking for in a government employee."

24. "I don’t want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief."

25. "There is only one bad word: taxes."

26. "I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes."

27. "There’s more than one crib tree in a forest. That’s not a lesson, by the way, just a comment on lumber availability."

28. "The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes."

29. "I don't like loud noises and people making a fuss. And I especially don't like people celebrating because they know a piece of private information that I don't... That's why I didn't like surprise parties."

30. "There is more than one crib tree in a forest. That's not a lesson, by the way, just a comment on lumber availability."

31. "You had me at 'meat tornado.'"

32. "There is only one bad word: taxes."

33. "I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes."

34. "Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor."

35. "Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars."

36. "Turkey can never beat cow."

37. "There is only one bad word: taxes."

38. "There’s more than one crib tree in a forest. That’s not a lesson, by the way, just a comment on lumber availability."

39. "The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer's teat until they have sore, chapped nipples."

40. "The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am."