Confucius Quotes Funny
While Confucius is widely known for his serious and philosophical teachings, here's a playful take with a touch of humor:
1. "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."
2. "Man who run behind car get exhausted."
3. "Man who fart in church sit in own pew."
4. "Man who scratches butt should not bite fingernails."
5. "Man who jumps off cliff jumps to conclusion."
6. "Man who eat many prunes get good run for money."
7. "Man who push piano down mineshaft get A flat minor."
8. "Man who drive like hell is bound to get there."
9. "Man who falls in vat of molten glass makes spectacle of self."
10. "Man who loses key to girlfriend's apartment get no new key."
Please note that these humorous quotes are not actual sayings of Confucius but rather playful interpretations inspired by the style of his teachings. The traditional sayings of Confucius are generally serious and focused on moral and ethical principles.
“If you make a mistake and do not correct it, this is called a mistake..!! 💫”
Confucius Quotes On Life
Confucius' teachings often included insights on life, ethics, and personal development. Here are some quotes attributed to Confucius on life:
1. "It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."
2. "Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."
3. "Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart."
4. "The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large."
5. "To see what is right and not do it is want of courage."
6. "When we have knowledge, all the world is open to us."
7. "It is not the failure of others to appreciate your abilities that should trouble you, but rather your failure to appreciate theirs."
8. "He who learns but does not think, is lost! He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger."
9. "Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue."
10. "The superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions."
11. "Without an acquaintance with the rules of propriety, it is impossible for the character to be established."
12. "If you look into your own heart, and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?"
13. "The object of the superior man is truth."
14. "The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home."
15. "When we are not able to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere."
16. "When anger rises, think of the consequences."
17. "Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues."
18. "He who is not a good servant will not be a good master."
19. "Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."
20. "It is a pleasure, when you have made a close connection with someone, to trust him in everything, and to have the utmost confidence in his character, but it is rash to place complete confidence in a person without having made a close connection and knowing his character."
21. "Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star."
22. "When you know a thing, to hold that you know it, and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it—this is knowledge."
23. "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
24. "The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large."
25. "If you make a mistake and do not correct it, this is called a mistake."
These quotes reflect Confucius' thoughts on various aspects of life, emphasizing virtues, self-reflection, and the pursuit of knowledge.
Confucius Quotes On Aging
While Confucius didn't specifically address aging in his teachings, his philosophy often touched on wisdom, personal development, and the passage of time. Here are some quotes that can be related to the concept of aging:
1. "It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."
2. "Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart."
3. "The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large."
4. "When we have knowledge, all the world is open to us."
5. "If you look into your own heart, and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?"
6. "When you know a thing, to hold that you know it, and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it—this is knowledge."
7. "Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues."
8. "He who is not a good servant will not be a good master."
9. "Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star."
10. "The superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions."
11. "Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue."
12. "Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."
While these quotes may not explicitly address aging, they carry wisdom that can be applied to the process of growing older, emphasizing the importance of continuous learning, self-reflection, and the pursuit of virtuous living throughout one's life.
Confucius Quotes About Education
Confucius placed a significant emphasis on education as a means to cultivate moral character, ethical behavior, and social harmony. Here are some quotes attributed to Confucius on education:
1. "Education breeds confidence. Confidence breeds hope. Hope breeds peace."
2. "The superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions."
3. "Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star."
4. "It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."
5. "The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large."
6. "When we have knowledge, all the world is open to us."
7. "If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people."
8. "He who learns but does not think, is lost! He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger."
9. "When we are not able to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere."
10. "The object of the superior man is truth."
11. "Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues."
12. "When anger rises, think of the consequences."
13. "The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home."
14. "To see what is right and not do it is want of courage."
15. "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
16. "Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."
17. "When you know a thing, to hold that you know it, and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it—this is knowledge."
18. "To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must cultivate our personal life; and to cultivate our personal life, we must first set our hearts right."
19. "Without an acquaintance with the rules of propriety, it is impossible for the character to be established."
20. "The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large."
These quotes underscore Confucius' belief in the transformative power of education and its role in building a harmonious society based on moral principles.
Confucius Quotes About Love
Confucius' teachings on love often revolved around the broader concept of benevolence (Ren 仁), which encompasses compassion, kindness, and empathy. While his direct quotes on romantic love may be limited, his principles emphasize the importance of cultivating virtuous relationships. Here are some quotes and teachings that touch upon the concept of love:
1. "Is it not a pleasure, having learned something, to try it out? Is it not a joy to have friends come from afar? Is it not gentlemanly not to take offense when others fail to appreciate your abilities? Is it not gentlemanly not to take offense when others fail to appreciate your clothes? Is it not gentlemanly not to be disheartened when others fail to appreciate your pursuits?"
2. "When we have knowledge, all the world is open to us."
3. "To love a thing means wanting it to live."
4. "The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell."
5. "To see what is right and not do it is want of courage."
6. "When we are not able to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere."
7. "The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home."
8. "Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues."
9. "He who is not a good servant will not be a good master."
10. "Without an acquaintance with the rules of propriety, it is impossible for the character to be established."
11. "The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large."
12. "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
While Confucius didn't explicitly focus on romantic love, his teachings on virtue, respect, and empathy can be applied to various aspects of human relationships, including love and compassion. His emphasis on ethical behavior and harmonious interactions laid the foundation for creating a just and compassionate society.
Confucius Quotes About Work
Confucius had insights on the nature of work and the virtues associated with it. Here are some quotes attributed to Confucius that touch upon the concept of work:
1. "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."
2. "The superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions."
3. "It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."
4. "The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large."
5. "When we have knowledge, all the world is open to us."
6. "Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star."
7. "Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue."
8. "To see what is right and not do it is want of courage."
9. "He who learns but does not think, is lost! He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger."
10. "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
11. "The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home."
12. "When we are not able to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere."
13. "The object of the superior man is truth."
14. "Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."
15. "Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues."
16. "When anger rises, think of the consequences."
17. "He who is not a good servant will not be a good master."
18. "Without an acquaintance with the rules of propriety, it is impossible for the character to be established."
19. "The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large."
20. "If you make a mistake and do not correct it, this is called a mistake."
These quotes reflect Confucius' views on the importance of work, diligence, and virtue in one's professional life. His emphasis on continuous learning, ethical behavior, and the pursuit of knowledge influenced his teachings on work and personal development.
Confucius Quotes About Success
Confucius' teachings often touched on principles that could be applied to the pursuit of success. Here are some quotes attributed to Confucius that offer insights into success:
1. "It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."
2. "The superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions."
3. "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
4. "When we have knowledge, all the world is open to us."
5. "He who learns but does not think, is lost! He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger."
6. "Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue."
7. "To see what is right and not do it is want of courage."
8. "The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home."
9. "Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues."
10. "When we are not able to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere."
11. "When anger rises, think of the consequences."
12. "Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."
13. "Without an acquaintance with the rules of propriety, it is impossible for the character to be established."
14. "The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large."
15. "The object of the superior man is truth."
16. "If you make a mistake and do not correct it, this is called a mistake."
17. "Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star."
18. "Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart."
19. "To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must cultivate our personal life; and to cultivate our personal life, we must first set our hearts right."
20. "When you know a thing, to hold that you know it, and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it—this is knowledge."
While Confucius did not provide a direct focus on success in the contemporary sense, his teachings emphasize principles such as perseverance, continuous learning, ethical behavior, and self-reflection—all of which can contribute to a successful and fulfilling life.